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Confessions of a Crazy Adoptive Mom...

To Do List for Monday:

-Plan Dinner. Check.

-Go to grocery store. Will do when Hubby gets home.

- Go to Joanne's and buy scrapbook album, magnets, and ribbon. Check. Check. Check.

-Return weird jeans to Old Navy that made Jeremy's legs look funny. Check.

-Smile that for once something didn't look fabulous on Jeremy. It's about freaking time. Check.

-Take Emmy to Disney store. Listen to her tell me how she neeeeeeeeds the 6 ft. tall Minnie. Double check.

-Proudly walk out of Disney store with nothing in my hands except screaming child who still needs Minnie. Check.

-Buy Emmy new piggy bank to start her allowance and chore program this week. Check.

- Meet Jeremy for lunch. Check.

- Walk into Gymboree and see absolutely adorable pink outift for newborn baby girl. Walk out of store. 10 minutes later walk back into Gymboree and look at it again. Walk out of store. Explain to 2 year old daughter that Mommy is crazy. 5 minutes later walk back into Gymboree, head straight towards adorable outfit and walk straight to cashier (who was also looking at me like I was crazy). Purchase adorable outfit with no child to wear it. Walk down a few stores and purchase adorable pink bow to go with adorable pink outift. Feel totally happy and just a little crazy and mixed with a glimmer of hope. Too many checks to count.

Me thinks....

As I was sorting through a pile of books the other day I came across this one by Sheri Dew - "If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn't Be Hard."

Only the Lord knew how I needed to find the title of this book on that day.

A few weeks ago, we hit our one year mark of waiting to bring another beautiful child into our home.

You may think, "One year, that's not so bad." You are right. I've known many who have waited 2, 3 or 5 years.

Most days 1 year isn't bad. Most days the waiting doesn't hurt or ache inside my soul. Some days it does though.

Some days all I want is to see my daughter holding her new brother or sister (sister if you ask Emmy!). When she asks me where her sister is I want to reply "In her crib sleeping."

But I cannot because she (or he) is not here yet. So we wait.

But, we do not wait without having hope. We do not wait without doing all we can do. We do not just sit around and wait for the stork to bring our baby to us.

We work. We have fun. We do not put our life on hold. We spread the word and we testify to anyone that will listen how much we love adoption. We have had many amazing experiences as a family doing all of this. That is what we will continue to do.

Yes, life is hard sometimes. Sometimes it's easy. But when it is hard - that is when we learn. That is when we exercise our faith and continue to hope.

A line from a song about hope " And ears cannot hear it and eyes cannot see
But hearts are drawn near it if they choose to be..."

I choose to have hope. Today it is not hiding but it is close to my heart.